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May 15, 2019

Lamar Odom Regrets Lying to & Cheating on Khloé Kardashian

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Over five years after going their separate ways, Lamar Odom is once again owning up to being unfaithful and lying to his ex-wife Khloé Kardashian throughout their marriage. The basketball player chronicles his regrets in a new memoir.

Odom and Kardashian endured four years of a tumultuous marriage before the reality star filed for divorce in 2013, and Odom is shedding more light on that period in “Darkness to Light.”

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom at the Kanye West Yeezy Season 3 on Feb. 11, 2016 in New York City. |Photo: Getty Images

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In the soon-to-be-released book, according to PEOPLE, Odom admits to regularly stepping out on Kardashian and hiding his cocaine addiction from her.

“I wish I could have been more of a man,” the former LA Lakers Forward also confessed in an interview with the outlet, adding:

“It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with.”

Lamar Odom at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports Awards on July 13, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. |Photo: Getty Images

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In excerpts of “Darkness to Light” exclusively published by PEOPLE, Odom recalls being happy with Kardashian at the beginning of their relationship. Eventually, however, his sex and drugs addiction caught up with the couple’s bliss and tore it to shreds.

“I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity. Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression. … I couldn’t keep my [expletive] in my pants or the coke out of my nose. Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit. I’d get defensive and Khloé would just drop it.”

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom at the Kardashian Kollection Handbag launch on Nov. 2, 2011 in Sydney, Australia. |Photo: Getty Images

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A few months before Kardashian filed for divorce, Odom was arrested for driving under the influence and checked in to rehab, only to check out a day after.

'Lamar has always cared about Khloé, he still has love for her, and he hates that she’s been hurt'

"She wants a fresh start. It wasn't any easy decision, but at the end of the day she's not going to stay with someone who refuses to get help," a source told E! of the “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” star’s divorce decision.

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Odom, 39, and Kardashian’s divorce was finalized in 2016, but the two appear to remain civil with each other.

The 34-year-old “Good American” boss rushed to Odom’s side in 2015 when he almost died and was hospitalized following an overdose.

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The former NBA star also reportedly had Kardashian’s back earlier this year in the cheating scandal that involved her ex/baby daddy (who also happens to be an NBA player) and Jordyn Woods, one-time BFF of Kardashian’s sister, Kylie Jenner.

“Lamar has always cared about Khloé, he still has love for her, and he hates that she’s been hurt again,” a source reportedly revealed. “He wants to reach out to her and give her his love and support.”

Odom's memoir, “Darkness to Light,” is scheduled for release on May 28.

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